Why: To Use or Not To Use
Questions.
We all use them to get the information we need, or we think we need. But not all questions are as effective in providing us with the information we do need.
There are three basic types of questions, as set out by EnglishClub.com (1):
“Yes/No: the answer is "yes or no"
Question-word: the answer is "information"
Choice: the answer is "in the question"”
Today I want to focus on question-words, like “why”, “what”, and “how”.
Within that list, the question “why” is the most problematic. I have been involved in more than one discussion about whether to use it at all.
The basis for asking “why” is to elicit reasons and explanations (2). Not a bad thing to have answers, right? For example, we might want to know why certain systems work the way they do or why a specific policy is important.
So what’s the problem?
Put simply, “why” carries a lot of baggage when it is posed to another person about their actions or behaviours. And even more so when it is delivered in an exasperated tone.
In such a setting, “why” has the increased potential for generating “a defensive internal position, making us feel challenged, blamed or accused of something”. (3) Examples include “Why did you do that?” or “Why didn’t you do that?”. Here, trust dissipates quickly and the information provided is unhelpful in achieving the goal of understanding and resolution. We are effectively closing down the conversation without even giving it a chance.
By simply switching to “how” or “what”, you can open up the conversation to find the truth or a closer version of the truth. If you are a manager talking with an employee about a mistake or error, consider starting the conversation with a “what happened?” or “how did this happen?” and let the employee tell you in their own words. Such questions encourage discussion, allow for understanding and contribute to finding a resolution. (3)
What steps will you take to find better information in order to build and sustain your community?
Resources
EnglishClub.com. Questions. Retrieved from: https://www.englishclub.com/grammar/questions.htm#type on June 25, 2020.
Lessons for English.com. Why vs Whose vs How in English. Retrieved from: https://lessonsforenglish.com/question-words/why-vs-whose-vs-how-in-english/ on June 25, 2020.
EmpathyRooms.Com. Why Not To Use The Word Why. Retrieved from https://www.empathyrooms.com/why-not-to-use-the-word-why/ on June 24, 2020.
Photo: Tammy Brimner/TLBVelo Photography
