Accepting my imperfections
Accepting my imperfections.
As I stared at these words on the page, I had the biggest revelation – for two reasons.
First of all, these words are negative self-talk. No one needs to live in that kind of world!
Secondly, it also assumes I am perfect in other ways. But that can’t be further from the truth. No one is perfect!
But maybe there is another way to think about my imperfections.
I remembered a conversation where I decided in that moment that perfection comes when I lean into my strengths, my natural preferences and my working genius, and I am able to show up at my best for not just me but those around me. This gives everyone around me the chance to show up at their best. Doesn’t that sound perfect?
The problem is I am rarely at my best these days and there are constant reminders of what my imperfections are. The important thing is for me to be aware of my imperfections and the conditions which give rise to my imperfections. Luckily, I already have a list – some I shared in my enchiridion which included my working frustrations as well as some of my known blind spots, and then there is pretty much the antithesis of my personal values.
Once I know (or remember) what prevents me from being at my best, then I can take steps to give me the best possible chance of getting back to my version of being perfect.
How do I do that?
I have a list for that as well ;)
Here are some some strategies to help me get back to perfect:
I can review my well-being checklist and see what I’m missing.
I can reframe the problem.
I can lean on my personal support team.
I can work on breaking my bad habits.
I can accept my imperfections.
How can I accept my imperfections? (The only one I haven’t explored yet!)
There are probably a multitude of ways to accept my imperfections. I have one particular method in mind which I want to share with you today.
I can accept my imperfections by surrounding myself with people whose perfections are my imperfections.
Let me share an example which I will use my knowledge today to reframe my experience.
Early in my working career at UBC, I found myself in an acting manager role within my first year in Faculty Relations. I was facing new challenges daily and I leaned into my fact-finding and quick start energy to find as much information as possible and then create summary documents for myself – which were helpful for others. I also listened to people’s experiences and discovered problems which I felt needed to be solved. I spent time wondering what might be possible and then usually discerned the most likely solution. Before implementing or proposing that solution, I would connect with Natasha in Benefits and Nicole in Pensions. They always provided me with their valuable perspectives and helped me see different ways in which my proposed solution would work or wouldn’t work.
It wasn’t until we were part of a coworking event where we took a personality assessment which was quite possibly the DISC personality test. I compared my results with Nicole and Natasha and all of a sudden I saw something beautiful. Between the three of us, we represented all four fundamental behavior styles: dominance, influence, steadiness, and conscientious. Those behavior styles were indicative of different motivations which drove different perspectives.
It didn’t take me long to figure out how I could work well with others by valuing the diversity they brought to the discussion. They could see what I couldn’t see. Then I stopped fretting about what I wasn’t good at and found others who were good at it whenever I could.
That to me was accepting my imperfections.
Wasn’t that just perfect?
