Go ahead and make me cry!
There are certain things that are bound to make me cry:
Watching someone saying goodbye particularly when that someone is leaving for good or for a very long time.
Anyone’s funeral – I am sure I could even be a griever for hire.
Watching a sweet romance which finally develops into a relationship and a happy ending.
Singers performing for others. Not all of them. Just some of them. I can’t be more specific yet.
Stories which portray a group of people (even as little as two) where each is empowered to use their strengths to help solve a problem or complete a project, or they uncover a new level of capabilities which moves the team or themselves forward.
The last point might surprise you. I can tell you three specific times when I have cried when just reading about it. I first cried reading Frederic Laloux’s Reinventing Organizations (1) in 2020. I cried reading The Art of Possibility by Zander and Zander (2) in 2023. Then I cried my way through the first three quarters of Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara (3) last Saturday.
I think it is because I find such engagements so beautiful and uplifting. They describe what I always wanted in my work with others. It is also what I want for anyone working with others.
What gets in the way of my tears? Another story where a leader’s ego takes over and sucks the life out of their team. Or where the leader thinks they know best and create a new system which works for them, but not for anyone else.
I want to focus on systems for just a moment. I read a section in Unreasonable Hospitality (a book about the restaurant industry and how his restaurant became the number one restaurant in the world) which caught my attention – a good example of what got in the way of my tears:
“In restaurant-smart companies, members of the team have more autonomy and creative latitude. Because they tend to feel a greater sense of ownership, they give more of themselves to the job. They can often offer better hospitality because they are nimble; there aren't a lot of rules and systems getting in the way of human connection. But those restaurants tend not to have a lot of corporate support or oversight – the systems that make great businesses.
Corporate–smart companies, on the other hand, have all the backend systems and controls in areas like accounting, purchasing, and human resources that are needed to make them great businesses, and they're often more profitable as a result. But systems are, by definition, controls – and the more control you take away from the people on the ground, the less creative they can be, and guests can feel that.” (p.33)
Later in this book, Guidara tells the story of a big mistake he made where he took back control from his team temporarily with a new system, leaving the team no choice but to comply – the impact was significant. The team turned into robots with no emotions and lacking human connection. The guests, in turn, felt that lack of engagement and provided immediate feedback.
Guess what this particular team and their guests would remember? Do you remember what Maya Angelou is famous for saying (4)?
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
—Maya Angelou
The team and the guests would only remember how they felt in that particular moment or over that period of time.
Now, I am not totally against systems – I don’t know anyone working with clients and customers who also wants to think about paychecks, benefits, financial and safety regulations, accounting, purchasing, and the like. While team members want a say on what is purchased and what is reasonable salary and benefits, they will most likely be happy to let someone else handle the rest with the necessary level of control.
Each organization and business needs to find the right balance of systems and leave enough room for autonomy, creativity, innovation, and meaningful engagements with customers, clients or guests. The level of control will vary depending on the coordinated nature of the responsibilities and real-time operations. For example, restaurants, symphonies, or my friend’s company which is managing their moving train cars and trucks across North America carrying a flammable substance require a higher level of systems to ensure everyone is on point at the right time. Some of the work environment in a university (which I am familiar with) is coordinated and operated in a looser environment, while other responsibilities have tighter system controls.
My desire is for you to consider first whether the balance of control is right for your business or organization, keeping only what is necessary under control while still providing your team with enough autonomy, creativity and innovation in order to have meaningful engagements with your customers, clients or guests. And then make that happen – with your team.
Go ahead and make me cry. I dare you!
Resources
(1) Zander, Rosamund. S., and Benjamin Zander. 2000. The Art of Possibility. Boston: Harvard Business School.
(2) Laloux, Frederic. 2014. Reinventing organizations: A guide to creating organizations inspired by the next stage in human consciousness. Brussels, Belgium: Nelson Parker.
(3) Guidara, Will. 2022. Unreasonable Hospitality: the remarkable power of giving people more than they expect. New York: Optimism Press.
(4) Note how Maya Angelou said “I’ve learned” – original sources are listed here: https://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/04/06/they-feel/
Image by Tammy Brimner/TLBVelo Photography
