Strong enough!
I used to accept every gift offered to me. At least, that is what I think I was doing.
Each gift was a characterization or a designation in response to what the giver saw in me – or maybe they were just words thrown away in a particular moment which I deemed worthy enough to pick up.
Some of those gifts included “not good enough”, “perfectionist”, “swiss army knife”, “introverted”, “talented”, “weak”, “too sensitive”, “smart”, “strategic”, “not strategic”, and many, many others.
As time went on, I began to struggle under the weight of it all. The impact was so great my body could no longer function properly – my breathing and muscles became weak, my digestive system was a mess, my heart and thoughts began to hurt a lot, and my shoulders bent forward and down, along with where I held my head.
“That’s a lot of heaviness for your body to carry,” said someone who listened to my summary of the highlights of the past two years.
I picked up those particular words and carried them with me for a while as I pondered what that meant for me.
“What does that mean for you?” my friend asked. Or something like that.
“I’m not sure yet.”
I continued to carry that heaviness for a few more days until I woke up in the middle of the night. The words of Ellen Langer, Phil Parker, Raymond Prior, the Zanders and many others started to weave together for me.
“Wait a minute! This is all wrong. Yes, there is heaviness but I am strong enough to carry all this heaviness.” I threw that gift away and found I could breathe more freely.
I began to think of some of the gifts I had previously accepted. Was this gift truly supportive? Let’s keep that one! Isn’t this gift holding me back? I will gladly throw that one away.
I knew this is going to take a few days, maybe a few months, or even years to go through all of these gifts. For now, I am standing straighter and taller, and I can see I truly am strong enough.
Resources
Langer, Ellen. 2024. The Mindful Body: Thinking Our Way to Chronic Health. New York: Ballantine Group.
Parker, Phil. 2013. Get the Life You Love, Now. London, UK: Hay House.
Prior, Raymond. 2023. Golf Beneath the Surface. Dallas, Texas: BenBella Books, Inc.
Zander, Rosamund. S., and Benjamin Zander. 2000. The Art of Possibility. Boston: Harvard Business School.
Image by Tammy Brimner
