Lights and Thermostats
“The personalities of our friends shift and change as they are lighted up differently by a change of circumstance; but Arthur Balfour seemed independent of his environment; the lighting changed, but the light seemed to be in himself as in an opal or a star-sapphire.”
This John Buchan quote made me stop to enjoy those words and that idea — that someone could hold the light within, like an opal or a star-sapphire, regardless of what was happening around them. Another interesting piece is that Arthur Balfour was the former prime minister of the United Kingdom. I’m pretty sure I haven’t heard anyone talk about politicians today like that! But let’s leave that thought aside for now.
If you had that light, what could you do with it? Edith Wharton suggests you can spread that light around and offered two ways of doing just that.
“There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.”
Ah! Interesting, no? You can either be the candle or the mirror that reflects the light of that candle — if you want to spread that around.
If you want to spread that light around, then you must want to help others.
Because light provides comfort and clarity, and points out opportunity. Its benefits include positive impacts on our emotional and physical health, our sleep, performance, productivity, and even our memory.
It’s no wonder why we would want to spread that light around and reap the rewards for ourselves.
So, how do we do that?
I am going to ask Rabbi Shais Taub to answer that question in a different way. You can hear is answer by watching his YouTube video or you can read my transcript below.
“There are two types of people in this world: thermometer people and thermostat people. And which one you are will make all the difference as far as what kind of experience you have in this life. What’s the difference between a thermometer and a thermostat? A thermometer tells you the temperature in the room. A thermostat tells the room the temperature. There’s one kind of person who goes through life as a thermometer. However his environment is treating him, he will react in kind, and his emotional state, whether he’s happy or not, is going to be a direct reflection of everything that is coming at him from outside of him. That’s the thermometer. The thermostat is the one who wakes up and sets his setting on joy and gratitude, and emanates that out all around him to the environment around him. If you’re a thermometer, you are doomed to be reactive. You don’t get to choose whether or not you have a good day, the way people that you don’t even know will treat you is going to determine whether or not you had a good day, and you add up good days or bad days, and you have either a good life or a bad life and you were never in control of it – it was just the way life treated you. Completely passive. A victim. The thermostat says I can have a good life and a good day because I choose, that whatever my circumstances may be, I can always be productive, I can always be of service, I can always do something for someone else and thereby have a good day, and add that all up and have a good life.”
Oh, I definitely want to be a thermostat, don’t you?
We just need to make that choice.
Does that sound similar to my post on Givers & Takers? It should — because we do have the choice to be the thermostat or to be the light or spreader of that light. At least, to keep that as our goal, knowing sometimes we won’t reach it.
This might sound simple to some — a quick fix — but difficult to others. For those who find this difficult, it would be important to understand what helps create that light or thermostat in the first place.
That is what my first book will be all about. But instead of lights and thermostats, we are going to build a lifeboat! Because you have to save yourself first before you can save others ;)
Resources
This John Buchan quote is from his autobiography entitled Memory Hold the Door. Chapter VI: The Middle Years, Section 5. I am currently reading this now.
The quote from Edith Wharton is from her work Vesalius in Zante which I have not yet read.
I first saw Rabbi Shais Taub in an Instagram reel shared by my husband. His Instagram handle is @rabbi_shais_taub
