Your Personal Support Team
“You are where you are today because you stand on somebody's shoulders. And wherever you are heading, you cannot get there by yourself. If you stand on the shoulders of others, you have a reciprocal responsibility to live your life so that others may stand on your shoulders. It's the quid pro quo of life. We exist temporarily through what we take, but we live forever through what we give.”
Vernon E. Jordan (1)
I absolutely find these words from Vernon Jordan so inspiring — that we will always need others to succeed and we have an obligation to help others in return. In doing so, we live forever.
When I think about this in a leadership capacity, it made me think about how leadership at the top of any organization can be lonely … and temporary. But it doesn’t have to be!
You need to have people around you who will support you. Let me tell you why.
I read the following great story about a kite, originally conceived by John Newton in the late 1700s (2):
“The kite was flying so high that he could see for miles. This day was not like the other days, though. He was getting bored with the same view of the tall buildings, the trees, and the park. He became frustrated and wanted his freedom.
The kite looked at the string and began to think, “This string is holding me back. I can't explore. I can't do my own thing. I can't do the things that fulfill me and make me happy. In fact, I can't do anything I want to do myself. This is ridiculous. I'm not going to take this anymore. I think I'll cut myself free.”
So the kite did just that.
He cut the string.
He crashed.”
Oops! I guess you really can’t do this without a string!
Ideally, though, you should have more than one string to keep you from crashing.
What kinds of strings should you have?
You might have guides or mentors, peers, supporters, sponsors or maybe even a personal board of advisors.
Let’s take a look at how these strings stand apart.
Guides and mentors are people who have experience beyond your own who can coach and steer you in the right direction. They are the ones who have been there before and can warn you about pitfalls and danger zones. At the same time, they can share the potential for success and rewards.
Peers are other leaders like you. They are facing similar challenges inside and outside their organization and some of the exact same pressures. These are individuals who can feel your pain quite easily.
Supporters are people who can help you get things done. Think about your strengths as well as what doesn’t come easily for you. Find individuals who can help fill that void. Maybe you can hire them to work with you as either an employee or a contractor, or some other way which works for both of you. (3)
Sponsors are advocates and believers in your potential. They are individuals with leverage and experience who see what you can’t see in yourself and act on your behalf. (4)
An “accompagnateur” – a French term which is more fitting than a coach as it means to accompany or to walk with. Frederic Laloux introduced me to this beautiful term in one of his videos and it spoke volumes. You might want a coach or an “accompagnateur” like me to support your journey. (5)
What would you call this group of strings? Maybe it’s your personal board of advisors — 5-10 individuals with diverse experiences and backgrounds, willing to give you the feedback you need and the advice and support to help you face new challenges and key decisions. (6)
You want to surround yourself with people who will be your ally, your defender, your intellectual sparring partner, your friend, and your confidant – along with the ones who will keep you honest and accountable.
I want all of this for you. Because you deserve it.
To end, let me leave you with the following questions:
Who is in your life right now who fills these different roles for you? What roles are missing? How can you find those people to fill those missing roles? Then when you are supported, how will you reciprocate and live forever?
Resources
I saw this quote in another book which was attributed to “Vernon Jordan, in a speech at Howard University, 2002.” Source: Freeman, Joel A. 2007. If Nobody Loves You Create The Demand: A Powerful Jolt of Entrepreneurial Energy and Wisdom. Tyrone, GA: Authentic Publishing. p. 164.
Newton, John. 1700s. The Kite Story. Quoted in Joel A. Freeman, If Nobody Loves You Create The Demand: A Powerful Jolt of Entrepreneurial Energy and Wisdom. (Tyrone, GA: Authentic Publishing, 2007 p.126).
Gilkie, Charlie. 2020. “Success Packs.” Blog posted at Productive Flourishing on March 13, 2020. https://www.productiveflourishing.com/success-packs/. This article was recommended during a Publishing Primer hosted by Siretona Creative.
Piper, Martha, and Indira Samarasekera. 2021. Nerve: Lessons on Leadership from Two Women Who Went First. Toronto, ON: ECW Press. p.175-176 of 742.
Frederic Laloux introduced this French term to counter the word “coach”. He believes a leader needs someone to accompany them, or to walk with them. That really resonates with me so I have adopted that term: I am a leadership accompagnateur. Source: Laloux, Fredieric. 2.15 What roles for coaches, consultants, and facilitators? (Perspectives on the journey). Reinventing Organizations. Accessed June 25, 2025. https://youtu.be/TyAZB6j_B-4
Bloom, Sahil. 2022. “The Career Success Guide.” The Curiosity Chronicle. Accessed March 30, 2022. https://sahilbloom.substack.com/p/the-career-success-guide?s=r
Photo by Tammy Brimner/TLBVelo Photography
