Your Rest Point
While reading The Introvert Advantage: How Quiet People Can Thrive in an Extrovert World by Dr. Marti Olsen Laney, there was a phrase that caught my attention: “rest point”.
As an introvert, I found myself drawn to this concept of a rest point. I wanted to know more about this. Maybe you do too? I’m assuming you do.
To introduce this concept, I will first explain how Dr. Laney refers to the sympathetic nervous system as “Full-Throttle” and the parasympathetic nervous system as “Throttle-Down”.
In case you need to know or be reminded what those two systems do, here is the Cleveland Clinic’s short summary:
“Your sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems have opposite roles. While your sympathetic nervous system carries signals that put your body’s systems on alert, your parasympathetic carries signals that relax those systems.
The two systems work together to keep your body in balance. Your sympathetic nervous system takes the lead for as long as is necessary to get you through a period of danger. Then, your parasympathetic nervous system steps in and returns things to normal.”
Dr. Laney believed (over 20 years ago now) that these “two powerful primary systems…are the basic foundations of introverted and extroverted temperaments.” That is, introverted temperaments primarily use the Throttle Down system, while extroverted temperaments primarily use the Full-Throttle system.
Sidebar: We have different temperaments because our brains are actually wired differently. I’ve learned that the brains of introverts follow a longer acetylcholine pathway, and the brains of extroverts follow a shorter dopamine pathway. In short, introverts follow a pathway to our inner world while extroverts follow a pathway to the outer world. There is much more to say about that, but perhaps we can just enjoy this image showing the different pathways for now:
Why are these two systems important?
Dr. Allan Schore who published Affect Regulation and the Origin of Self in 1999 stated that each person has a rest point between the two sides of these systems – that is, the Full-Throttle and the Throttle Down systems. The rest point is where we gain the most energy and feel the best. He believes we fluctuate around our rest points throughout our lives.
The idea of fluctuating around our rest points makes me think about eustress and the surrounding of it by distress. That our rest points might be somewhere in the middle of eustress.
Dr. Laney had a personal conversation with Dr. Schore where he stated that “…if we know our rest point, then we can adjust our energy to achieve our goals.” That does sound where eustress lives.
A place where we gain the most energy and feel the best. A place from which we can achieve our goals.
A rest point. This sounds a lot like what my lifeboat looks like.
Doesn’t that sound like the place we all want to be?
The question for all of us then is this: do you know where your rest point is?
Resources
Laney Psy.D., Marti Olsen. 2022. The Introvert Advantage: How Quiet People Can Thrive in an Extrovert World. Workman Publishing Company. Kindle Edition. pp. 76-77
Schore, Allen. 1999. Affect Regulation and the Origin of Self: The Neurology of Emotional Development. Hillsdale, New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. [Referenced by Dr. Marti Olsen Laney]
Image above: https://www.tumblr.com/thembtitruth/135095392577/mbti-notes-introversion-and-extroversion-are
Cover image by Tammy Brimner/TLBVelo Photography
